Κάθε φορά ποὺ πλησιάζουμε στὸ Ἅγιο Ποτήριο γιὰ νὰ λάβουμε τὸ Σῶμα καὶ τὸ Αἶμα τοῦ Κυρίου, λέμε μιὰ προσευχὴ ποὺ περιέχει λόγια τὰ ὁποῖα πρέπει νὰ πραγματοποιηθοῦν, γιατί σὲ ἀντίθετη περίπτωση συνιστοῦν ψεῦδος ἐνώπιον τοῦ Θεοῦ. Λέμε στὸν Θεὸ ὅτι εἴμαστε οἱ χειρότεροι ἁμαρτωλοὶ ποὺ ὑπάρχουν.
Καὶ δὲν εἶναι φυσικὸ ποὺ τόσο συχνὰ λέμε αὐτὰ τὰ λόγια μὲ τὴ σκέψη ὅτι: «Αὐτὸ ἀληθεύει γιὰ τοὺς ἁγίους ποὺ μποροῦσαν νὰ νοιώθουν ἔτσι, ἀλλὰ δὲν μπορῶ νὰ νοιώσω ὅτι εἶμαι ὁ χειρότερος ἁμαρτωλός». Ὅταν κοιτάζουμε γύρω μας, ὅταν βλέπουμε τὴν κατάσταση τοῦ κόσμου στὸν ὁποῖο ζοῦμε, μποροῦμε νὰ δοῦμε κάποιους ἀνθρώπους ποὺ, στὰ μάτια μας, εἶναι χειρότεροι ἀπὸ ἐμᾶς. Καὶ ὡς πρὸς αὐτὸ θὰ ἤθελα νὰ σᾶς θυμίσω ἕνα ἀπόσπασμα ἀπὸ τὸ ἡμερολόγιο τοῦ Ἁγίου Ἰωάννη τῆς Κροστάνδης, ὁ ὁποῖος ἔθετε στὸν ἑαυτό του τὸ ἴδιο ἐρώτημα καὶ τελικὰ ἀπαντοῦσε σὲ αὐτὸ καταφατικά λέγοντας: «Ναὶ, εἶμαι ὁ χειρότερος ἁμαρτωλὸς ἀπ’ ὅλους ὅσους γνωρίζω».
Καὶ ἡ ἐξήγηση ποὺ ἔδινε ἦταν ὅτι εἶχε συνειδητοποιήσει τὶ τοῦ εἶχε προσφέρει ὁ Θεὸς, καὶ πόσα λίγα ἐκεῖνος Τοῦ εἶχε ἀνταποδώσει.
Πιστεύω ότι πρέπει όλοι μας νὰ ξεκινήσουμε μὲ αὐτὴ τὴ λογικὴ καὶ νὰ ἀναρωτηθοῦμε: Ποιὰ εἶναι τὰ χαρίσματα ποὺ ὁ Θεὸς μᾶς ἔχει ἐμπιστευτεῖ; Τὶ εἶναι αὐτὸ ποὺ μᾶς κάνει τόσο εὐτυχισμένους, ἤ τόσο δυστυχισμένους; Καὶ ὅταν καταφέρουμε νὰ κατανοήσουμε πόσα καλὰ ἔχουμε δεχτεῖ, τότε θὰ μποροῦμε νὰ ρωτήσουμε τὸν ἑαυτό μας, ποιοὶ εἶναι οἱ καρποὶ μας ἀπὸ αὐτὲς τὶς δωρεές;
Καὶ θὰ καταλάβουμε ὅτι, σύμφωνα μὲ τὸν πρῶτο Μακαρισμό, δὲν ὑπάρχει τίποτα σ’ ἐμᾶς, στὴ ζωή μας, ποὺ νὰ μᾶς ἀνήκει, ποὺ νὰ εἶναι δικό μας κατόρθωμα. Ὁ Θεὸς μᾶς ἔδωσε ζωή, μᾶς ἔδωσε σῶμα, ψυχή, μυαλό. Μᾶς ἔδωσε ὅ,τι γεμίζει τὴ ζωή μας μὲ πλοῦτο. Ὅ,τι εἴμαστε καὶ ὅ,τι ἔχουμε εἶναι δῶρα δικὰ Του, Τὸν εὐγνωμονοῦμε γι’ αὐτὸ, ἤ οἰκειοποιούμαστε τὰ δῶρα Του, μὲ τὴ σκέψη ὅτι εἶναι ἀληθινὰ δικά μας; Καὶ ἀκόμα ὅταν ἀντιλαμβανόμαστε ὅτι δὲν ὀφείλονται σ’ ἐμᾶς, ὅτι ὁ Θεὸς μᾶς ἔδωσε ὅ,τι ἔχουμε καὶ ὅ,τι εἴμαστε, γνωρίζουμε πῶς νὰ εἴμαστε εὐγνώμονες καὶ νὰ κάνουμε στὸν ἑαυτό μας τὴν ἐρώτηση ποὺ ἤδη σᾶς ἀνέφερα: «Τὶ ἔκανα τὰ δῶρα τοῦ Θεοῦ;» Καὶ ἄν ἐμβαθύνουμε περισσότερο στὴ ζωή μας, μποροῦμε νὰ ποῦμε: ναί, εἶμαι ὁ χειρότερος ἀπ’ ὅλους τοὺς ἁμαρτωλοὺς, ἐπειδὴ ὁ Θεὸς τόσο πλούσια μὲ προίκισε καὶ κοιτᾶξτε πόσο λίγα ἀνταπέδωσα στὸν Θεὸ καὶ στὸν πλησίον μου;
Ἄς προβληματιστοῦμε πάνω σ’ αὐτὸ καὶ τὴν ἑπόμενη φορὰ ποὺ θὰ προσέλθουμε γιὰ νὰ μεταλάβουμε καὶ σκεφτοῦμε ἤ ποῦμε αὐτὰ τὰ λόγια, ἄς τὰ ποῦμε ἔχοντας κατανοήσει ὅτι εἶναι ἀλήθεια, καὶ γνωρίζουμε τὸ γιατί. Aλλὰ νὰ προσέλθουμε στὸ Μυστήριο ἀφοῦ ἀρχικὰ κατανοήσουμε αὐτὰ τὰ λόγια, ἐπειδὴ χρειάζεται πολὺς καιρὸς γιὰ νὰ δοῦμε πόσο πλούσια μᾶς ἔχει προικίσει ὁ Θεὸς καὶ πόσο λίγο ἀνταποκριθήκαμε. Ἀλλὰ σταδιακά, βῆμα-βῆμα, αὐτὰ τὰ λόγια θὰ βγοῦν ἀληθινὰ καὶ θὰ μεταλαμβάνουμε μὲ πιὸ συντετριμμένη καρδιὰ καὶ μ’ εὐγνωμοσύνη. Ἀμὴν.
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Πρωτότυπο κείμενο
Every time we approach the holy chalice to receive Communion to the Body and Blood of Christ we say a prayer that contains words that must become true on our lips, otherwise they are a lie before God. We say to God that we are the worst sinner, we are the chief sinner that there is.
And isn\’t it natural that so often we say these words thinking, \’This was true of the saints, who could feel that way, but I can\’t feel that I am the worst of sinners\’. When we look around, when we look at the state of the world in which we live, we can see a number of people who in our eyes are worse than we are. And regarding this I would like to remind you of a passage in the diary of Saint John of Kronstadt, who also asked himself the same question, and in the end answered it in the affirmative: \’Yes, I am the worst of all the sinners I know\’.
And the reason he gave for this judgement of his was that he was aware of how much God had given him, and how little he had given to God in response.
I think we must all of us begin in this frame of mind, ask ourselves: What are the gifts which God has bestowed upon us? What is it that makes us so happy in ourselves, or makes others so happy in us, rightly or wrongly? And when we have come to understand how much we have received, then we can ask ourselves: what are the fruits which we have borne of these gifts?
And we will see that, according to the first Beatitude, there is nothing in us, in our life, which is our own, of our own making. God gave us life. He gave us a body, a soul, a mind. He gave us all that fills our lives with richness. All that we are and all that we possess are gifts of his. Do we give Him gratitude for it, or do we appropriate these gifts, thinking no, they are our own really? And even when we are aware of the fact that they are not of our making, that it is God who has given us all that we are and all that we have, do we know how to be grateful and also to ask ourselves the question which I have already mentioned: what have I done with all the gifts of God? And if we go ever more deeply within ourselves and in our lives, can we begin to be able to say: yes, I really am the worst of all the sinners around me because I am so richly endowed by God and look how little, how very little, I have brought to God and to my neighbour as a result of it?
Let us all reflect on this. And when we come next time to Communion and we think or say these words, let us say them with at least a beginning of understanding that yes, it is true, and I know why. But come with an incipient understanding, because it takes a very long time for us to see how richly God has endowed us and how poorly we have responded to Him. But gradually, step by step, these words will become true and we will receive Communion with a new depth of broken-heartedness and with gratitude. Amen.